Why Completing the Boston Marathon Matters to Me

When I was a kid I did all the things regular kids do: I climbed trees, I rode a Big Wheel (ok mine was a Hot Cycle, but I did also have a Green Machine), I played little league baseball, I went camping, I played outside every day until the sun went down. But there was something a bit different about me. Even though I loved playing sports and goofing around with friends, I was never the "best" or even "great" at anything athletically. Sure, I had been given some intellectual giftedness and did well at school, but that's kind of like being a kangaroo who is better at swimming than jumping -- interesting but not what the crowd pays to see.

In Little League, I played two full seasons and never got a base hit. In bowling league, I averaged 120, but never logged a 200+ high game. In neighborhood football, I was nearly always the last pick.

My parents built values into me which gave me the strength to look past such shortfalls and instead build foundations in areas of lasting value: education, relationships, and a Rock-solid Christian faith. Still, the back of my mind always grieved my athletic shortcomings.

Fast forward 25 years. My educational prowess translated itself into being high school salutatorian, engineering grad from a Top 20 university, a perfect 4.0 MBA, and reasonable business success. But, athletically I found something in 2005 I had never conceived of: a love for distance running. I completed my first marathon with my bride of 16 years (her time in the 2005 Houston Marathon was 1 second faster than mine!), and I couldn't wait to try again. The idea of working for 16-18 weeks in "hiding" then hitting a race course for a 26.2 mile "final exam" was captivating. I lost weight -- about 15 pounds -- in my first 2 years of distance running. I gained energy. I stopped getting sick -- ever! ( my last illness or infection of any kind was 2007, and I haven't needed to take a sick day in over 7 years now!)

As I ran more marathons (2 in 2008, 2 in 2009, 3 in 2010, 4 in 2012, 5 in 2013) I saw my times improve. In 2011 I wondered for the first time if I could ever possibly, in a crazy fluke, qualify for the biggest baddest marathon of all: the Boston Marathon! At that time, my PR was 3:35 (2010 Chicago), and I would need to drop to 3:20:59 to even BQ (Boston Qualify) which still was not a guarantee for entry since Boston had been moved to a sorting methodology rather than first come-first served as had been the previous selection criteria.

I worked my tail end off in early 2011 training, using Fargo 2011 as my "A" race. Speed workouts, intervals, tempo, lifting. All set up ok until race day: good temps but a 10 mph head wind. I buckled down, started fast and held on to make my first BQ: 3:20:09! Thrilled was a word far lower than how I felt. Later however, my Boston entry was denied -- I had qualified but didn't make the cut for the 27,000-strong field in the 2012 race.

Then, the Boston Athletic Association did something even crueler: they lowered the qualifying times by 5 min 59 sec for all divisions. Now I needed a 3:15:00 to even BQ let alone be accepted. I took a breath and went to work.

I ran a couple of "training" marathons in 2011 and early2012, focusing on peaking in late 2012: Scranton, Pennsylvania; Sacramento, CA; Huntington Beach, CA; San Diego, CA. Then came CIM 2012: slated for Dec 2012. Everything was on schedule. My fitness was good, my weight was down, my injuries were nil. All that could keep me back would be weather...... And that's exactly what happened! Instead of a nice 50 degree overcast calm day, I was greeted with POURING RAIN and 25-30 mph headwinds on this point to point course. What a bummer, right? Wrong. Instead I just decided to roll with what was given me: I put my head down, tucked into the 3:10 pace group and headed out. We ran through Armageddon that day. Ankle deep lakes. Whipping headwinds. Relentless pouring rain for 3 hours.

I turned my brain "off" and ran. For 22 miles this worked. I hung with the 3:10 group til the last push into Sacramento. I faded but refused to listen to my beaten body. I forced my mind to win. I finished that day in 3:11:50: good for a solid BQ, and – this time – an acceptance into the 118th running of the Boston Marathon. Because of the qualification windows for Boston, my BQ – though in December 2012 – would not qualify me for the 2013 race but the 2014 event.

No matter. I used 2013 to run more 3 marathons for ‘fun’, and then chose to give one last push for an “A” race in October at Albany, NY – the Mohawk Hudson River Marathon. I ran up my fitness again, dropped weight, and did all the little things: 5am track workouts, running calisthenics, tempo, hills, intervals – the whole enchilada. This came at a big cost though: To do this meant focus and drive, often to the detriment of my focus on other more important areas, like Cheryl – I am 1000% sure that my efforts caused some serious disintegration in our relationship. I’m still working on the recovery. Although I did all I could to be balanced – it doesn’t seem that way to someone who just sees me out doing cardio 6x per week, with weight training, and eating like a bird.

Long story short, I flew to Albany in mid-October 2013, and ran a nice 3:10:55. Faded over the last 4+ miles, but really did everything I could to “max out”. After I finished, I made a note and have held to it: I’m in running retirement. My 3:10 gave me a higher seed for Boston 2014. I’d start in Wave 1, Corral 9, but for me the race would be more of a victory lap than a chance for another PR.

I ran 3 more marathons from Dec 2013 through Feb 2014. This was my downfall athletically. I broke my body. On March 29, 2014, at the end of my final 20-mile training run for Boston, I pulled something in my left glute, and couldn’t walk for 3 days. No exaggeration. Cheryl was in South Carolina with Ash and Broo, and I was literally crawling up and down our stairs to move around. Not fun. Spent the last 3 weeks with intense chiropractic care, clinical massages, relentless foam rolling, and stretching. The only object was to put “Humpty Dumpty” together enough to enable a 26.2 mile performance on April 21, 2014, that would close the book on this dream. Yes, it happened. My 1st Boston Marathon was also, ironically enough, my 25th marathon overall. Nice round number. The emotions and experience I had in Boston are something for another day and another post.

The much larger significance was what the day meant: I had completed an athletic feat that required intense training, commitment, and focus for many years (7?) to accomplish. I managed to do something that the 11-year old Greg of Buffalo Grove never could: achieve a mark of athletic excellence. Sure, this is not going to change the course of my life. It’s not going to help anyone live longer or reduce global injustice. But, for the kid who was never picked first, this was a moment a long time in coming. A chance to enjoy a personal accomplishment. A reward for hundreds of hours of hidden sweat. A moment to hear one’s name cheered – no, screamed – by countless Bostonian faithful along a 26.2 mile course from small town Hopkinton to big city Boston (thanks, Cheryl, for the personalized shirt!). The 10am biker bar. The Wellesley coeds. The Newton hills. The Citgo sign. The left turn onto Boylston. It all happened, and I still don’t think it really has soaked in yet.

No matter. I have a medal and a few keepsakes to prove it. I don’t really want or crave anyone’s adulation or praise. This journey was mine alone – to prove that the short, left-handed, red-headed kid from Buffalo Grove, Illinois could rise up and go big. And go big he did. I can smile now.

Greg and Cheryl Are Headed to Haiti!!

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted on the ol' blog. Welcome back!!

Greetings from San Diego!

I’d like to share a special opportunity Cheryl and I have to participate in a serving trip to Haiti this March.  We will serve as part of a team from Gateway Community Church (Escondido, California) and will assist in construction to repair a home for orphaned Haitian girls Gateway sponsors, teach English in a local school, and participate in a church service during a week-long trip to Haiti. Of course, the best part of the trip will be spending time with the girls themselves.  The trip is scheduled for March 7-14, 2013.

As you may remember, much of Haiti was destroyed by a devastating 7.0 earthquake in January 2010. An estimated 316,000 people died and over 1.5 million Haitians were left homeless. Recovery has been slow, and daily life in this already impoverished nation is at a near standstill. Even today, over 400,000 people live in “temporary” tents, and an estimated 85% of the rubble still has not been cleared. We will go to offer help and hope to a country in so much distress.

We are writing to ask you to collaborate with us in our efforts to share the love of God in a practical way with others in need.  Although you may not be able to take this trip with us, you can participate by supporting our team in prayer and making a financial contribution.

Each team member must raise funds to cover the expenses of the trip, and we are fortunate to have enough frequent flier miles to cover our airfare. This reduces the remaining costs of our trip to $800 for each of us, or $1600 total. 

Would you consider contributing $100, $50, or any amount to help us serve the people of Haiti?  This is a chance for you to be personally involved in the ongoing restoration of Haiti as well as helping us deliver a message of hope and friendship to people struggling to carry on in the aftermath of destruction and loss.

The timeline for us to gather our financial support is February 7th. There are a few avenues  by which you can contribute: by PayPal transaction directly to us [Click here] , by personal check payable to Gateway Community Church sent via snail mail to our address (let us know if you need it), or by donating on the church website: gatewaycommunitychurch.net .  If you do donate through the website, please let us know so we can designate that contribution for the Haiti trip.

Your gift is tax-deductible, and a receipt will be sent to you regardless of which donation method you choose.

We are so grateful to be able to share this opportunity with you and appreciate your prayers for our team’s safety as we bring a little hope to those we will be serving in Haiti.

With love,

Greg and Cheryl Boncimino

gboncimino@yahoo.com            

cboncimino@yahoo.com

Direct Link to PayPal Donation Page: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=FB3AQBR6CNCN8

Should I Blog?

Wow. I just checked out my long-forgotten blog, and realized it's been over two years since I posted here. Yes, I'm still alive. I guess this is just a case of where Facebook has taken over our day-to-day "need" for social interaction. Not necessarily a bad thing, but really shows how our method of communicating changes as time moves on.

I'll post this, and see if any comments come in. Let me know if there is any interest in restarting my blogging here. This blog had such a dramatic purpose in the days / weeks / months following Laurie's death in 2005. Now, although life has moved on in so many ways, my thoughts hearken back to the state of brokenness I was in when this was first started.

Interesting thoughts.

I am still..... Greg

40 Years: Looking Back... and Ahead

Wow. I can't believe it. I'm 40 years old today. I don't feel any different, but somehow I feel like my little world has shifted somehow. I'm not depressed; I guess I'm a bit nostalgic. In short, I feel overwhelming blessed and, in all fact, lucky to have experienced so many things in my life.

My parents developed into me a strong sense of confidence that has propelled me from the first day I walked into kindergarten (yes, Mom, I still have the note you gave me that day -- even though I couldn't even read yet!) all the way through today, where I'm in Malaysia of all places with an indescribly amazing wife, undeniably unique intelligent daughters, and a job that is way bigger than I should be allowed to have. But let me be 100% clear -- I think the root of who I am and where I am and how I am is the result of my parents -- both very authentic, yes flawed, but deeply loving. It's made me the person I am now, and believe me -- I could spend days explaining (or trying) how my quirks / strengths / weaknesses / sensitivities find their roots in how I was raised. Cheryl and I have worked with laser-focus to get our parenting right. Time will tell (and I guess it is already...)

Now -- to today, I'd like to blog about something I did today that I think is quite cool. I went on a long run -- nothing unusual for me; for the past 5 years I've become a hack distance runner, and have completed 5 marathons. Today I woke up at 4:15am and ran 20 miles. Thanks to my Nike+ equipped iPod, I knew exactly when I had completed each mile with the friendly voice in my ear over my music. Here's what I decided to do: During each mile I ran, I let my thoughts wander through two specific years of my life. For mile 1, I thought about my 1st and 2nd years. For mile 2, I thought about my 3rd and 4th years, and so on. It was startling to discover what my initial memories were for each two-year segment. For some of the middle years (my late 20s, early 30s, I got kinda confused and had to "think" a bit harder. For my later years, my thoughts were getting fuzzy -- I think it was more due to the 2+ hours of running than lack of memory. Ugh!

Anyhow, I'd like to share what just SOME of my thoughts were for each year. I don't know if this will mean anything to anyone else, but it's raw and it's what was on my mind:

Age 0 (1969-70), Mile 0: Not much memory here, but I was born just 2 months before the US landed on the moon. That's cool to think about. My first house was in Arlington Heights, IL, on Vail St. 1969 was the Cubs collapse and Mets' miracle. Maybe that set the tone for the rest of my lifelong cub "fandom".

Age 1 (1970-71): First birthday. Chris came along this year. Awesome, I have a brother!! We moved into 921 Belmar this year, although Buffalo Grove was a farmland. I must have learned to walk during this period.

Age 2 (1971-72), Mile 1: Not much sticks out. Probably had some fun times with my new brother. We shared the front room of 921 with the best bunk beds in the world. We were probably embarrassed by all the plaid and polyester our wild parents were wearing at the time.

Age 3 (1972-73): By now, beginning to make neighborhood friends. I wonder if Louie lived next door yet, or if the Landy's were in 911 yet. Chris and I were still the only grandkids, so I'm sure our Christmas loot was mind boggling. I think Aunt Gail worked at Puppy Palace right about now.

Age 4 (1973-74), Mile 2: Getting all our shoes for free from Grandpa Broscovak was probably the name of the game now. Also, Dad probably worked at City Products in Des Plaines about now. I can imagine that as a Dad of two boys while in his early 20s, he felt a huge sense of responsibility to provide. I believe that he did -- despite lack of college degree, he found something he could do well, and did it. That's what responsibility is. I believe that he humbled himself (having been an aspiring musician a few years earlier) in order to provide for his family. Simply put, he matured beyond his years to do what had to be done. THIS has made its way into my philosophy. Once you're a parent, it's not about YOU anymore -- it's about your kids, and that means sucking it up and providing: not just financially, but spiritually, relationally, and emotionally.

Age 5 (74-75): I think I started kindergarten here. I remember getting in trouble for painting the floors at Willow Grove. I'm still in contact with many of my friends from this period (facebook is a mind-boggling technology). Camping started about now. We went to some great places, started by tent, then graduated later to pop-up trailer. I had a happy childhood. Loved playing, going to Grandparents' houses (train set in AH). Lil' Phil came along right about now too. Awesome -- a cousin.

Age 6 (75-76), Mile 3: First Cub game. Mid-70s Cub teams "struggled" a lot. Wasn't yet a fan, but these were my formative Cub years. I remember writing a letter to President Ford. He (or his staff) actually wrote back, and I still have that letter too.

Age 7 (76-77): Camping during the Bicentennial. My family and the Peszats were camp-a-holics. I think we spent half this year in Wisconsin, wearing cutoff shorts, red-white-and-blue shirts, and having fun. Became a Christian in March 1977. Still remember the decision vividly. This kind of thing has to happen on purpose, not by virtue of "going to church".

Age 8 (77-78), Mile 4: Definitely became a Cub fan this year. I had the 1977 team photo on my wall. My favorite players from 1977: Ivan DeJesus, Rick Reuschel, Steve Ontiveros, Dave Kingman.

Age 9 (78-79): This was my FIRST year at Lake Geneva Youth Camp: 1978! My father was becoming involved in church leadership at this time, as was Mom. I think this is when our church adopted a Vietnamese refugee family. My first real experiences of how to live out compassion by DOING. Mom and Dad shaped me. Katie born this year!

Age 10 (79-80), Mile 5: The Iran hostage crisis sticks out in my mind. Whoa. Scary. Winter 1980: I remember where I was when Team USA beat the USSR in Olympic hockey (Harshaw's house). I saw the game, and remember the mania. Then USA won the gold medal game to finish the Miracle on Ice. Unbelievable.

Age 11 (80-81): I remember the election of Ronald Reagan in Nov 80, by landslide, something like 489-49 electoral votes (someone look it up and see if I'm right). March '81 was when Reagan was shot. I remember this too. I got my first real job this year: Newspaper Carrier for the Daily Herald. 365 days/yr delivery for about $20-25 week in pay. I did this for five years. Not a bad way to develop responsibility in a young kid.

Age 12 (81-82), Mile 6: Not much to recall here. 7th grade at Twin Groves. Jazz band. Ugly glasses.

Age 13 (82-83): The end of this year featured a trip to Cubs Spring Training with my dad. Mesa, Arizona. I met Ryne Sandberg there -- got his autograph. This was also the time when I was a Pac Man geek and Rubik's Cube geek -- all wrapped up in one. Heaven help me. We also kept doing a ton of camping. Family bonding galore. Lost my first family member (Grandpa Boncimino) this year. New emotions -- pain, grief.

Age 14 (83-84), Mile 7: Graduated jr high school, entered Stevenson High School. Loved high school from day one. Entered a national math exam (series of 6 tests) and came in first place in nation with 6 perfect scores. Couple of cool medals to show for it. Loved marching band, jazz ensemble, pit orchestra, pep band, honor band. Great friends.

Age 15 (84-85): Cubs win National League East! Cubs choke in NLCS after going up 2 games to 0 against Padres, then lose last 3. I cried. Also, went to Copenhagen, Denmark with marching band and LOVED it. Learned how to play tuba for the trip because they needed players. Started working at Gazebo restaurant in spring 1985. One of my favorite movies ever came out: Back to the Future! Loved Huey Louis and the News. SADLY this is also when my parents' marriage began to fail. Pain unlike I had ever experienced. Learned how to forgive and move forward. Laurie born this year.

Age 16 (85-86), Mile 8: Got my drivers' license on my birthday. Had already purchased and fixed up my own car, a 76 Honda Civic. Uncle Buzz and I had done the body and paint. Uncle Phil and I had reworked the engine. My insurance cost twice as much as the car. My parents made me pay all of this (car, insurance, gas), and I fully agree with that philosophy. Again, great lessons in responsibility and management. My friendship with Jim Baumstark was now to "best friend" level. We spent so much time together, it was stupid. We worked together, ran together, did geeky two-person math team together, and more. Awesome lifelong friend!

Age 17 (86-87): Great summer of working at Gazebo. Went on bike camping trip with Ben Nesbeitt to Wisconsin. Super involved in youth group leadership through Campus Life. Senior year of high school. Fun fun fun. Got Chicken Pox in my senior year of HS, one month before graduation. Accepted into Rice University during spring 1987. Named Salutatorian of HS class; gave speech at graduation. I spoke about the meaning of success, and still believe every word I spoke that day (June 7, 1987).

Age 18 (87-88), Mile 9: Two Words: Met Cheryl. I met my future bride in Aug 1987. My life has not been the same. Other than being a follower of Jesus, my relationship with my wife is my most prized possession, and something I could not have ever deserved. Moved to Texas. Started college at Rice. Joined MOB (Marching Owl Band). Joined Campus Crusade. Learned how to live independently. Made more friends!

** OK this is waaaaayyyy too long. I'm so sorry......

Age 19 (88-89): Summer in Myrtle Beach, SC on CCC project. Sophomore year at Rice. Switch major from civil engineering to mechanical engineering.

Age 20 (89-90), Mile 10: Got married to the love of my life. Now, about to celebrate 20th anniversary. Guess we proved the naysayers wrong. Wouldn't "recommend" getting married so early, but maturity is a personal thing. Also need to have a definition of love and commitment that is NOT seen on TV. If you "get" that, you've got half the battle won. Ashley born in Jan 1990. Beginning of another life phase: parenting! (Cubs in playoffs '89, but collapsed again -- this time to Giants)

Age 21 (90-91): Senior year at Rice. Big project: 4 degree-of-freedom robotic wrist with NASA. First "real" job: engineer for Amoco Production Company. $37k salary seemed like more money than we could ever spend. (ha!) First apartment: Cypress, Texas.

Age 22 (91-92), Mile 11: Brooke born! Began life as family of four. Started WoodsEdge church with some great friends.

Age 23 (92-93): Switched companies, and started life with Solar Turbines (still work for Solar today). Bought our first house: Woodlands, Texas. Kind of cool to have your first mortgage at age 23. Again. lessons in financial responsibility...

Age 24 (93-94), Mile 12: Heavily involved with WoodsEdge -- getting that church off the ground. Life is filled with the joy of raising our two girlies. We had a blast (hopefully they did too!)

Age 25 (94-95): Ashley enters kindergarten at Hailey Elementary. We end up only keeping her in public school for one year.

Age 26 (95-96), Mile 13: Our first year of home schooling! We teach Ash & Brooke at home for six years -- a GREAT decision. Cheryl taught them both to read, to do math, to appreciate reading over TV-watching. Chris & Christa got married, and thus began another chapter for another Boncimino family.

Age 27 (96-97): Transition year. ALMOST was given job at Willow Creek in Promiseland, then ultimately accepted job transfer to San Diego (with Solar Turbines) in April 97. Sold our first house, then opened up shop with our second house in La Mesa, California.

Age 28 (97-98), Mile 14: Aunt Lin dies. Unlike loss of my grandfather in 1982, this loss was sudden and unexpected. Gave us our first chance to draw together as a family amidst a sea of grief. We make it through. Fall of 1997: went camping around Lake Michigan. Several sweet final memories with my father.

Age 29 (98-99): My father dies. Again, sudden and unexpected. Life lessons on what matters most begin to seep through me. The result is in my next year....

Age 30 (99-00), Mile 15: We realize the need to be closer to family. I quit my great job, decide to go to work for an energy-consultant start-up in Chicago. We sell a house, and then buy our third one: Arlington Heights, IL (about a 1/2 mile from my very first one!). Changed jobs AGAIN in Jan 2000 to Sargent & Lundy engineers. Fun to take train to city each day. Joined Willow Creek as volunteer.

Age 31 (00-01): More change: Quit S&L job, joined staff of Willow Creek as a Tech Director. Chapter 2 / Willow's 25th Anniversary. Fun. Still home schooling.

Age 32 (01-02), Mile 16: 9/11 happens and our view of the world shifts. By Spring of 2002, I am burning out due to keeping 2 jobs to support the family. We decide to leave Willow and return to Solar Turbines. Move to Texas. Sold third house, and bought fourth: Cypress, Texas. Loved the new neighborhood.

Age 33 (02-03): We enter the girls in public school. Again, a solid decision which was right for us. stumbled through 2 different churches before landing on the one that "fit": Cy Fair Christian. I start cycling, and completed my first of four MS150 rides, along with several 100-milers.

Age 34 (03-04), Mile 17: (The run is making me delirious by now... not many thoughts) More work with Solar. Support for the girls. Ash plays cello. Brooke later picks up trombone. I begin MBA program at Univ of Texas (online).

Age 35 (04-05): Cheryl and I begin running, and decide to enter the 2005 Houston Marathon. We finished it together in just over 5 hours. Yay us. BUT..... the major event of this year was the sudden, tragic, heart churning loss of my dear sister, Laurie. Deepest pain I've ever experienced. Most levels of grief I've ever had to sort through. We made it through. I started this blog to put my thoughts into words. Read it back if you'd like.

Age 36 (05-06), Mile 18: I complete my 1st triathlon (Dallas), 4th MS150 cycle ride (Houston to Austin) and my 2nd Houston Marathon. Earned my MBA from Univ of Texas in May 06. In Spring, we decide to accept job relocation to Malaysia!

Age 37 (06-07): Life in wild, developing, different, culturally rich Malaysia! Girls enter the International School of Kuala Lumpur (ISKL) with kids from 50 other countries. Cheryl starts her degree program at International College of Music (ICOM). I travel between countries as often as I change my clothes. I finish the Singapore Marathon in Dec 06.

Age 38 (07-08), Mile 19: First home leave reminds us how different our life in Asia is. We've changed into global citizens in many respects. Girls learn how the rest of the world sees the USA, and this matters immensely. I finish the Sydney Marathon in Sept 07. Girls' field trip to Italy in Spring 08. We go along for the ride. Turns out to be unforgettable. We all love Italy!

Age 39 (08-09): I finish the Sundown Marathon in Singapore (run at night!). Ashley graduates HS, and gets accepted into Northwestern University as journalism major. NU is top 20 in USA. Proud parents. We all go to US in Sept to get her moved in. Many tears. One is out of the nest. I run for, and win, a seat on the Board of Directors at ISKL. Serving on the Board has been a great development role for me. Gave my first message at church in Feb (Greg can preach??); went well.

Age 40 (09---), Mile 20: Here I am. About to help get daughter number to into her college of choice. Supporting my dear wife as she works through her degree program. Beginning to look ahead to my next job assignment (could be Europe, could be Singapore, could be USA, we just don't know).

**** OK, so this went on far longer than I had thought. I am sorry if this has bored my 3 readers. I think this look back was more for me than for anyone else in the sense that I count myself blessed as I review this thing called my life. I have left out so much. I don't mean for this to be a biography -- more like a series of snapshots. All through it, there is a thread that God is in control. There have been achievements and failures. Celebrations and deep losses. I am in many ways the product of all that. I'm still not proud of my tendencies to fail and to (still) say things I later regret. I'm still learning. I have fears that shake me, and hopes that drive me. I want to be humbler and more loving. I want to be a better friend, husband, and father. I want to change lives and help the world. I want to continue to live every day with thanksgiving. I do not know when my last will be; that's not for me to decide. SO, I press on.

greg

First Post of 2009

I realize my posts to the ol' blog are few and far between these days. For those who have followed my writing for the past four years, you all know that this began as a place for me to simply articulate what the loss of my sister meant to me, and how I was addressing the many phases of grief. Now, here in 2009, I find myself in a different era of life -- really.

OUR NOW
My family and I live in the tiny SE Asian country of Malaysia, in the middle of a tough overseas work assignment. My eldest daughter, Ashley (or Izzy, as she is known by her college friends), is a freshman at prestigious Northwestern University. Brooke is working through that all-too-tough junior year of HS here in Malaysia. Cheryl is halfway through her bachelor's in music program at the local music college.

Day to day, our life is all about dealing with the now-familiar, but still odd culture of Malaysia. Traffic laws are not obeyed; racism runs rampant; people are not free to choose their own religion; and the government controls its people with water cannons and tear gas. We work to stay safe on a constant basis, despite having been robbed numerous times over the past 2-1/2 years. In many ways, the state of development of this country is still 100 years behind the US. We're halfway done with Malaysia, and -- frankly -- we're looking forward to getting out. We don't know what "next" is for us. Could be Europe -- could be Australia -- could be Dallas -- could be San Diego. Stay tuned....

ASHLEY / IZZY
The past three weeks with Ashley / Izzy at home has been very very enjoyable. We have seen her unwind from her difficult first quarter at college. She has slept, baked, read, and relaxed. We've had some good time to talk about how to tackle the next stage -- looks like she could be going out for ROTC, possibly adding Physics as a second major, and maybe finding a fun group to join on campus (like the NU choir). We couldn't be prouder of our soon to be 19-year-old.

BROOKE
Brooke is getting ready for the big SAT. It comes on Ashley's birthday, Jan 24. From now until then we'll try to work through some tests and exercises so she can be at her best by the big day. We're also excited because she will be in a Photography class this semester -- a subject Brooke has always loved and has shown amazing skill in. Perhaps there is a career somewhere out there for her??

CHERYL
Cheryl is going to spend the next 2-1/2 weeks in Florida with her mom. Sending her on a 9,000 mile journey is no easy decision, but we believe this is the right time. The two of them need to spend time together because every day counts. Cheryl hopes to spend time in close conversation -- going over things from the most trivial to the most important. This is a very intentional visit, and although it will be tough not having Cheryl with me here in Malaysia for the day-to-day, it is better that she invest time with her mother while the opportunity presents itself.

LIGHTER STUFF
I'm happy that Rice won the Texas Bowl yesterday. Rice has had very few athletic "wins" over the past half-century, and winning a bowl game -- even if just a second (or third!) tier game like the Texas Bowl -- means a lot. They had a most impressive 10-3 season, and have brought another level of pride to a university community that still believes it's possible to succeed both academically and athletically. Looking ahead, the Rice baseball team is ranked #3 coming into the 2009 season. Let's go Owls.

RUNNING
As I just posted on my Facebook status, I ran a total of 1,288 miles in 2008. I accomplished this in 211 runs, in eight different countries, wearing just three different pairs of shoes. I completed one marathon in 2008, the Singapore Sundown Marathon. I hope to run another marathon in 2009 -- probably the KL Marathon at the end of March. Running continues to keep my stress level down, and gives me an avenue to think, listen to podcasts, and stay fit.

THE YEAR AHEAD
I won't say this many times, but 2009 is a milestone year: Cheryl and I will both reach a rather ugly milestone age (to remain nameless here!), and we will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary (yahoo!!). We need to find a great place to celebrate -- thinking of Hawaii or Australia or New Zealand. Maybe a cruise (which I've never done) Any ideas?

Well, only a few more hours until it's time to take Ashley and Cheryl to the airport. I'll close this post down here. We have one more major item of business before the vacation ends: destruction of our 2008 gingerbread tower. If all goes as planned, we should have some sweet video to post later....

Wishing everyone a year of good health, abundant relationship, spiritual gain, and authentic peace.

greg

So so sad

It seems that sometimes the saddest parts of life hit when you least expect it.
Yesterday, the body of a neighbor who lived in our condominium (Seri Hening Residence) was found in the Ukay Heights neighborhood. (Ukay Heights is adjacent to the International School of KL). His name is Andy Goddard, age 35, a British national, who was the husband of Patina (Swedish national) and father of Lucas (their 2 year old boy). Everyone in our condominium, as you could imagine, is quite grief stricken and shocked. This family parks their car right next to ours, and we have seen them all the time. Andy was well known around our complex, playing with his son in the pool or kicking the ball around. In fact, Cheryl, Brooke, and I just saw him at our complex's Christmas party last week.

Apparently, Andy and Patina had gone to a party in Ukay Heights on Saturday (Dec 13th). Patina came home early to relieve the babysitter, while Andy stayed later. Sometime during the early hours on Sunday morning, Andy chose to leave and had intended to walk to the main road (Jalan Kolam Air) to locate a taxi. He had been drinking that evening. Unfortunately he never made it home. Police located his body in a drainage ditch (note -- I have only heard this through our condominium grapevine). Foul play is not believed to be a factor, but apparently he tripped and/or fell into the ditch and never recovered.

There are many things we do not know at this time. What we do know, however, is that a tragedy has occurred, and we have a grieving wife and son living in our building. If you have a moment, please offer a prayer on behalf of the family.

A colleague of mine here in KL sent me the following words, which HE just shared at his father's funeral last week. I think they are rich in wisdom, and really seem to hit me where I'm at right now:

"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows." -- Nigel Cumberland

With that, I'll close this brief post.

Peace, greg

Link to news story: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/12/16/nation/2818305&sec=nation

Thankful but Wearied

I know it has been ages since I've posted here. So sorry for the gap. Truth is that my occupation has become my occupation (!). Work has been the dominant presence over the past couple of months. Unfortunately, Malaysia does not celebrate Thanksgiving (it's an American holiday -- obviously!), so I've had to put in another full 5 day week this week.

THANKFUL?
Yes, of course this will always be a time of the year to be thankful for everything: First, of course, our God and the unbelievable grace he has provided. Second, for the people He places in our lives: family, friends, loved ones. Third, (these days especially) for safety. I don't think I've ever been more thankful for safety in my life. (more on this later). We did manage to squeeze in a Thanksgiving meal of our own last night, and had some good friends over for the traditional turkey / stuffing, etc. We even put a pre-recorded football game on TV to satisfy that innate craving. We saw Indy vs SD from last Sunday night.

WEARIED.
The events of this week have given me great pause once again. Thai airports under siege? Massive killings in Mumbai? Two examples of (a) a government unable to control its own people, and (b) terrorism alive and well in the world. I know that many of my American family and friends have been consumed with eating and shopping over the past couple of days, but over here these are real and scary times. Cheryl and I wonder if this is where we really should be, sometimes.

As many of you know, I was in Thailand this week -- and traveled through both airports several times. In fact, I made out of Bangkok just 4 hours before the airport was taken by the protesters. I'd probably still be there if I had taken the next schedule flight out. I honestly believe that God was watching over me in those hours.

Also, many of my work colleagues travel through Mumbai regularly. They stay at the Taj Hotel just as I often stay at the other 5-star hotels in my district (Manila, Bangkok, etc.). In fact, we had two employees in Mumbai when all this started on Wednesday. Both are safe. However, I heard at the school board committee meeting on Thursday that a parent from the international school of Bombay was killed in the Mumbai attacks. Yes, the reality of living in a dangerous world hits home.

I'm not sure where all this leaves me except to know more than ever before that God needs to be, and will continue to be at the helm in our household. We will seek him in prayer and will seek to make wise decisions accordingly. I will be traveling to the USA (for the 7th time this year!) at the end of next week, and will even be able to return to Asia with Izzy! It's cool how that worked out. We have many many things to share, recount, and discuss (hey -- a first quarter away at college will do that!). We absolutely cannot wait to see her -- and get to have her home for a few weeks!

In other news:
* Both Rice (8-3) and Northwestern (9-3) football seem to be bowl bound. That's cool.
* I'm thinking about making the KL Marathon in March 2009 my next.
* Still haven't watched / listened to a Cubs story since the collapse.
* We're at the 2-years-left mark for Malaysia. No news on next stop.

Love and miss everyone.....

greg

Writing Just Because

It has been far too long since I've written. Many things have happened, and I'm actually wondering whether I should spend a few moments right now to pour out what's on my mind. I guess I will. I'm sorry that this post really doesn't have the punch of some earlier posts, but hey that's what 'cha get.

ASHLEY (or "Izzy")
It's official. Ashley is now officially a college student. She is just now finishing her second week of classes at Northwestern University. I am so proud of her I could pop. Many kids go to such-and-such college, and whatnot, but my daughter is attending Northwestern -- yes, that Northwestern -- a Top 25 school by any standard, and arguably better than several of the Ivies. Don't believe me??? CHECK HERE. Yes, I am proud of her. We set her up in her dorm a couple weeks ago, and she is really on her own. It's a real mark of transition, and I know she will rise up to it.

What's the deal with "Izzy"? OK, Ash is choosing this time of transition to make a name change. Yes, to her NU friends, she is known as "Izzy". Cheryl never forgets to give me a hard time for why we named Ashley "Ashley". Now, our girl wants to resort to more of her Italian heritage by being "Izzy", short for Isabel. What do I think? I think it's totally cool. Ash / Izz has always been her own creature, and this is another way she can be who she wants. Those of you in IL -- don't blow her cover -- call her Izzy!

B-O-D
Yep, the rumor is true. I am now on serving on a Board of Directors. I was elected to serve on the Board for the International School of Kuala Lumpur (ISKL). I am really excited about the issues that face this premier school -- one of which is the task of helping guide it to a new campus for the long term livelihood of the school. ISKL is often regarded as THE premier school in all of Malaysia. I am honored to be serving with many outstanding colleagues, and hope to provide the level of quality insight and leadership that the community has placed on me by electing me as one of the "14".

CHICAGO CUBS
OK, anyone who knows Greg Boncimino, knows that I have been a die-hard Cubs fan since 1977. That's right -- 31 years. I simply love this team. I am not a "pink hat". I am not a fair-weather fan. I have stood by this stinkin' team since Jimmy Carter was president. Don't believe me? Then I'll throw you these names, and YES go look them up: Ivan DeJesus, Kenny Holtzmann, Rick Reuschel, Steve Ontiveros, Steve Dillard, Steve Swisher, Dave Kingman, Bobby Murcer, Bruce Sutter, Herman Franks, Dick Tidrow. Who's a fan from the 1970's now?

Of course, I'm just messing with you. I am so excited about the 08 post season. Yes, this is a strong team. Yes, they have all the right tools. Yes, they CAN win it all. Yes, I want that. BUT.... I am a real Cubs fan. I've been through this 31 times. I am based in reality. I can accept defeat, but simply do not want it. I want the best to happen, and will be almost PRAYING for it over the next several weeks. If anything, I am entertained and that's gotta be worth something.

Cheryl says she is sending me to the World Series if the Cubs make it. That's cool of her to say. I actually get teary eyed (not lying) thinking about that, but I will deal with NOT going. Here's my deal: Living and working in Malaysia is hard. Nothing is normal here. No one likes baseball. Few people like the United States. I find comforts of being an American few and far between. However, enjoying the Cubs gives me something to look forward to. I listen to Cubscast 2-3 times per week. I read everything I can on cubs.com . From this silly little place in SE Asia, I can be happy for a while. And, even if the Cubs lose, I'll survive. Yes, I will.

END
It's time to end. It's 7pm in Malaysia. Time for dinner. I will deliberately NOT say anything about the markets, although I am developing an ulcer. Our Absentee Election ballots just arrived today. I can't wait to mark my "X" in the McCain / Palin box. If there is anything that scares me, it's Mr O. I'm not a McCain fan, but I know experience and am not quite willing to my confidence in the US future for someone who can give a good speech. Enough of that.

Please visit me on Facebook. I'm there about once a week. Go Cubs.

greg

Malaysia: A Land Without Gold

It has been most interesting to watch these 2008 Olympics in a country that has never won a gold medal. Instead of the usual NBC commentary trying to “keep up” with all the medals flying into the US of A, over here it’s much more like watching a party from the outside – Everyone inside looks so warm and cozy while the outsiders are shivering and blue-lipped.

Another interesting observation: The coverage doesn’t pretend the USA is the center of the world. This is a new experience for me. Back in America, the media always made the Olympics seem much more like the US vs. the world. Over here – it’s really a world experience. I have not seen or heard from a single NBC commentator, and have not even seen an NBC logo in the background. Also missing from Malaysian coverage – all of those sweet back stories to provide behind-the-scenes perspective to every (American) athlete. I haven’t heard the tender vocals of Bob Costas (is he doing the Olympics this year?) to soothe my thirsty soul.

MEDAL COUNTING: Another thing you might find interesting: Over here, medal tallies are measured in terms of the number of GOLDs won, not TOTAL medals. As such, China is kicking some serious USA butt in the medal scoring. However, I've noticed when looking at American-based websites, the scoring is measured in total medals, thus showing the USA in the lead. I think this is actually quite amusing -- Who is ahead, the USA or China? Yes. One solution to all this might be to score gold with 3 points, silver with 2 points, and bronze with 1 point, but I don't think anyone is really asking for my opinion here....

Another difference: I haven’t heard the Star Spangled Banner once. Any coverage of medal ceremonies (when covered between those CRUCIAL badminton matches) just shows the waving / smiling end to the festivity. I guess when you’re a country like Malaysia, you can’t show favorites, so don’t play any national anthems.

The commentary from Malaysian television is much like what you’d expect from a documentary on migrating sea turtles. Yep – it’s THAT dry. There is no background music, lots of dead time, and many scenes of people ‘watching’ the events. Hmmmm….

Overall, there was much more passion about the World Cup in 2006 than this year’s Olympics, even with them occurring just up the road in Beijing. (It is cool to be in the same time zone as Beijing!).

Yesterday, when I was in The Philippines, I noticed a much stronger American perspective – there were folks actually interested in watching the USA v Greece basketball game. They tried not to show it, but I heard the cheers when Kobe, LeBron, and company dunked the be-jeebers out of the lowly Greeks. At first I thought the refs were going to control the game by calling all the cheap fouls in the first quarter, but alas good prevailed over evil… ;-)

I am sure I will have more perspectives to share later on. My most anticipated event, the men’s marathon, doesn’t take place until the last day of the Games, and I hope all of you will be joining me in cheering for Ryan Hall – our 2:06 marathoner who doesn’t even know how stinkin’ fast he is yet. Wow.

Hope you enjoyed this….
Greg

P.S. I am so incredibly stoked about the Cubs. Even out here, as I travel from country to country, I am continually checking in for updates. The current 8 game road win streak is just what we need to develop a little confidence. I’ll be traveling to Myanmar on Monday. I wonder if THEY are Cubs fans….

Summertime in Malaysia

It has, once again, been so long since even the shortest of blog posts. Truth is, life is best enjoyed AWAY from the computer -- we have been enjoying life in all of its phases. I say that because too often you'll hear people (like me) say "I've been soooo busy". That may be true, but it's also a quick-n-easy way of saying I really haven't justified the time to spend... (doing this or that). OK -- enough of the philosophy.

We've been getting Ashley all ready to head out the door for her next chapter: college. We've been busy buying all the goodies on her Northwestern list, and being in a high-tech journalism program means lots of electronics: laptop, audio recorder, microphone, tripod, LOTS of software, video camera (thanks Mom and Pete!!), and more. We've also been mulling through the growing mountain of info: which meal plan (13, 16, or 19 meals per week?), which bank for her first checking account, where should she get an on-campus job, when is move-in day, are microwaves allowed, which US-based cell phone plan should we get, where can we get a US-clinic to do a TB-test..... oh the questions go on. It's really a lot of fun, though, and I think that's part of the excitement. This is a great time to be a Dad, and I'm loving it!

The dates for our trip to the US are now set: Ash & I leave for Chicago on 04 Sept, while Cheryl & Brooke leave on 05 Sept. We'll stay in the US until 20 Sept, with the last three days spent in Florida with Cheryl's mom. As for WHAT we're doing while in the US -- it's mostly what you'd expect: shopping, bank accounts, medical, etc. But we're also going to have a GRAD PARTY for Ash, a birthday party for Brooke, a family Slumberfest (2nd annual!), and a taste of NCAA football -- NU game on 13 Sept. We are really looking forward to the trip. Cheryl and the girls haven't been back to the US since July 2007, so it will be interesting to see their reactions. (I've heard that gas costs more than $2 per gallon -- that can't be true. Really? ;-) )

One big bummer is that we can't visit our friends in Texas this time around. Since we're going to be getting Ash into college, we really don't have the time to get to Houston or Dallas. Friends there-- we are SO sorry. Waahhh! Come visit us in Chicago!?

I'm also a TINY bit bummed that we can't go to a Cubs game either. The only date that could work (16 Sept) is just too tight -- that's NU Move-In day. Oh well. Cheryl says she's sending me to the US if there is a Cubs World Series. We'll see about that. I do follow nearly every game, and listen to Cubscast three times per week, so I probably know more about Cubs baseball than folks living on Waveland, but that's just how I am. (p.s. the Brewer sweep last week was awesome. We went to the LAST 4-game road sweep when the Cubs did it in Houston, and that was nice (our brooms were confiscated by ballpark officials though -- not so cool).

GOOD NEWS: Our long-lost, formerly crashed hard drive has been resurrected! All of our family photos from the past 6-7 years were on the drive, and the manufacturer had told us it would cost US$500 to recover them. Instead, I brought the drive to our IT dept here in Malaysia, and wouldn't you know it -- they got the thing working! So, once again we have our pictoral history intact. First thing we did was to burn about 14 DVDs! Yes, we are now safe. And why is this so cool? Because now we have photos like this again:

So, that is about it for now. Please know that we are well. Leave a comment to share the love.....

greg

Vacation Mode Big Time

We have been on vacation mode for almost a week now. It is won-der-ful!! To say that this has been a relief would be a vast understatement. Our routine has been just what it SHOULD be: Sleep until whenever, workout at the fitness center (to justify the excess calorie intake), eat a long slow breakfast, spend hours wondering what to do next, get about one thing done, eat lunch, eat dinner, sleep again. Yes!!

Where have we been? Well, as stated elsewhere, it's been the good ol' country of Vietnam. We spent four days in Ho Chi Minh City, and now we've been in Vung Tau for another four days. My latest photos are up on Facebook -- go look!

Today we visit an amazing statue of Jesus on the top of the highest mountain in Vung Tau. Much like the "Christ the Redeemer" statue in Brazil, the statue here is of a triumphant Christ overlooking the South China Sea. We even were able to climb to the top of the statue, which led to more amazing views. (See future photos on Facebook.)

What has been best about this trip? Just the pure family time we are having. Our days with a pre-collegiate Ashley are fast drawing to a close. In all these moments of hanging out, we've been able to just talk, and I think we've had some rich conversation interspersed with all the regular day-to-day stuff. Yes, there is the "advice" discussion, but then also the "what do you think about this" stuff as well. The fact that we have two smart girls makes all of this time so memorable. I am a blessed Dad / blessed husband.

What? Me read?! Yes, it's true. I've read two novels so far (Fahrenheit 451 (thumbs up) and Slaughterhouse Five (thumbs down)). I've also spend many good hours in the Word. I read all of Mark on Tuesday (an experience that rejuvenated my thankfulness for my Lord -- and consequently reminded me of what REAL love is -- again). Today I read nine short New Testament books (Titus, Philemon, James, I Peter, II Peter, I John, II John, III John, Jude), and am struck with the gift that God provided through His Word -- not only did He provide us a way to find Him -- he told us how to live in this short time we have on earth. I know that sounds trite, but after being a Christ-follower for 30+ years I still find the greatest comforts in the most essential of truths. I don't have it figured out, but know the One who does and that's all that matters.

Enough for now, it's time for us to eat. Vietnamese food = Yum!

greg

Good Mornin' Vietnam

Hey there, all. I really haven't meant to let the blog go dormant. I am so sorry for not posting in a while -- the truth of it is that life has been busy. Not really BAD busy, but GOOD busy.

Life is going well for us. Last weekend was amazing with Chris, Christa, Hayden, and Reece visiting us. For the next 3 months, we all will be living closer than ever before, and here we are on the other side of the world!

Tomorrow we leave for a glorious vacation. We're headed to Vietnam for what we hope will be 10 days of rest, relaxation, and precious family time. We'll be in Ho Chih Minh City (formerly Saigon) for the first 4 days, then Vung Tau for the last 6 days. Pray for our safety. We always take proper precautions, but this is still SE Asia, and Vietnam is still a developing nation. Can't wait.

These are the top thoughts in my mind these days:
* Ashley's future
* Our ability to support her / nurture her / protect her
* What being happy really means
* What is next for our family / our life
* Whether we did the best we SHOULD have as parents -- really

I would appreciate your care in the form of simple prayers. Thanks.

greg

Fun at the Ballpark and MORE

This has been a busy but fun week, and it's only Tuesday morning! I flew to the United States on Saturday for a few meetings this week in Dallas. BUT, the best part about this trip is the great day I got to spend with good friends Scott and Vonda Dyer, and their two beautiful daughters, Delaney and Avery. On Sunday morning, I made a visit to their very cool church, Bent Tree Bible Fellowship. Awesome message this week by their outreach pastor Joanne (forgot last name, sorry. Download it from iTunes-worth the listen!). After a nice trip to the local Tex-Mex restaurant, we mobilized for a trip to the ballpark. Scott managed to surf StubHub and score some sweet tix for the Texas Rangers - Tampa Bay Rays game -- 6th row, behind the 3rd base dugout!

We got to the game, and had an absolute blast. With seats at the field level, you get views like this:

Scott has a friend, Brad (Bent Tree member!) who is the Rangers' team photographer. Check out the lens on his camera!!

Brad had us come down to the front row, where our view of the game got even better:

You just don't get shots like this very often. And, now that I'm living in Malaysia, where they wouldn't know the difference between baseball and pole vaulting, it was a treat for me to get back to the sport that I love so much. Yes, this was a great day....

The game has changed a little bit. For instance, old school MLB probably wouldn't have a cheer squad roaming the foul lines, but hey, who can't turn down a wadded up t-shirt delivered via jumbo sling shot? Times change....Front row seats allow you to get photos of third base like this!

We gave some cool dresses to Delaney and Avery from our adventure in Asia. Doesn't Delaney look cool in her Indian sari?

This past week also brought a new era into my Internet life. Yes, I am now a newbie Facebook member. I really don't know what I'm doing over there yet, but it has been fun to find old friends (I guess that's the point?!). I'm hoping A & B don't feel I'm treading on their turf too much. If you're on the 'book, look me up.

Well, time for a big day here in Dallas, then a flight back to LA tonight, and the biggie back over to KL. This weekend we'll be vacationing in Cambodia, and I can't wait -- that's one country I've never visited, and I'm looking forward to it!!

greg