Need to Unplug -- Big Time...

I am just so tired.

After spending another four days this week in Thailand (cities of Bangkok and Rayong), getting too little sleep, not being able to catch up on my email, and not getting to spend any time at home, I am taking the day off today -- Friday. I don't want to do much except spend time w/ Cheryl and Brooke. Ashley is in Indonesia for an XC meet.

Would you believe that over the last 3 weeks, I have had a total of 15 minutes with Ashley when we've both been (a) awake, and (b) in the same country? It's not like we're just busy here in KL. No, I've been out of town, and when I come home for the weekend (for the past 3 weeks), she has gone on school trips. This is not too good.

At work, I'm averaging over 150 email (incoming) per day, and there are another dozen "important" tasks I should really be spending my time on. I probably just READ email about 4 hours per day. Of that, 3.5 hours is rather irrelevant to my assignment, but I'm "copied" on the correspondence. Argh. I'm trying to take tactful steps to change this.

I am still churning out marathon prep mileage: 4 miles on Mon, 8 more on Tues, 4 more on Wed, off day Thurs, and then just ran 8 miles this morning (8:24 pace hooray). Tomorrow is a 17-miler. Oh joy. I need to make sure the iPod is charged -- it's my only hope.

I haven't allowed my brain to absorb what has happened w/ Katie and Tommy. I know that I will -- I won't stuff it, but I just haven't allocated the mental processing time. I need to be "sitting down" first.

I have had several overwhelming bouts of disbelief about Laurie this past week. As I have sat on too many airplanes, trains, buses, taxis, etc. I think back and remember. Images of her throwing herself, tied up w/ duct tape, into Lake Michigan haunt me. Memories of our "search and rescue" flood my mind. The horrified looks in the eyes of my mom and Pete, my siblings, my wife, and my daughters. Not even to mention Scott. The thoughts of utter devastating loss and of disappointment, then of fear -- that others would do the same. No, I'm still not done processing.

All this hit home in another way when I saw a fatality accident on Wednesday in Thailand. One of the many high-risk motorcyclists had his luck run out, as an 18-wheeler caught his back wheel at 70 mph on a Thai highway. The guy was run over and killed instantly. I saw the mangled body loaded into a cheap white tyvec bag, with the body outline painted onto the road right next to it. There's a family in Thailand whose father won't be coming home this week. Somewhere a wife is crying out, and some kids are dazed and confused. Life is again so vivid when you see how terribly fragile it is.

And I see fragility all around me. The risk and adventure we're taking here in Asia. Living in a Muslim country during the middle of their holiest month -- Ramadan. We need protection that only OUR God can provide. We need support only prayer can solicit. We need... no, __I__ need to know God is here, that He accepts me, and that He is STILL in charge.

ready to rest

greg