No, I won't agree to it.
I don't seem to remember a conversation wherein I gave my consent to go on living without Laur. Either I didn't get the memo, or forgot to put it in my PDA. I'm not going along with it. This is not acceptable.
Today on the way to work, I considered what life will be like without Laurie in it. It's not a scenario that I can accept right now. I'm sorry if this isn't the "appropriate" way to deal with grief right now, but frankly this is just not going to work. In sports vocabulary, I'm choosing to live life under protest. Is that OK? Can I just state my complete, total, absolute, unequivocal, non-negotiable disagreement with this plan?
I'm sorry, but I would like 50 more Christmases with Laur. I'd like to go to Cubs Spring Training with Laur, her husband, and her kids. I'd like to see the hospital where she works as a nurse. I think it would be priceless to tell her kids what an absolute masterpiece their mother is. I can't wait to take all our kids on an outing to feed and help the homeless, so we can learn how Laur does it so faithfully.
What? You mean I can't do this? These things won't happen? No, that needs to change. Not gonna work. I protest... I tearfully protest.
greg
-- sorry for the pessimism today. However, I'd like this blog to be real, and that's where I really am right now.
2 comments:
Greg,
I feel many of these same emotions. It's hard to imagine our futures without that crazy, beautiful, amazing girl in them. I too PROTEST! At the very least, God allows us to carry her with us. The next time you hug your girls, she's there. Every time we talk about her, there she is again. If I've learned one thing in these weeks, its that I need to be fully present with the people in my life. Don't forget to tell Denver what an exceptional Mom he has... I love you BUNCHES! In case I've never told you, your role as a dad is inspiring. You are so good at meeting your girls where they are. Mandy
im sorry for your loss. it's hard to accept something so utterly tragic.
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