It´s been a few days since my last entry. The reason is that I am in Costa Rica right now, serving on a missions trip with a technical production team from Willow Creek. The trip has been absolutely amazing, and there is not one doubt in my mind that God wanted me here, right now, for this purpose, to minister directly to my heart.
The past five days have been incredible. I will not begin to share the details here, but, more importantly, I feel compelled to write about what has been happening to my heart. I came here on a leading from God that, as part of my grieving process, I just needed to get out of my ¨normal¨element, and to simply serve using gifts that HE gave me. Being what many call a ¨servant¨is not really more than that -- it´s just saying OK when asked to do something.
On Sunday, I had the privilege to attend a morning church service with the rest of the team. For two hours we experienced a service where we sang to God (in Spanish), and we heard a message from the pastor. We were at Vida Abundante Church. Somehow I felt a closeness to Laurie by simply worshipping the way she did -- in another language, in another country. I connected with God in a way that was real. Closer than I´ve been in a very long time. Tears came from time to time, but I felt OK about that. God was working on me.
I´ve also realized what Laurie meant when she chose to serve people just because they were there. Not because of what the people could give in return, but just because. Laurie often spoke of trying to see people the way God saw them --as treasures beyond our human understanding. I am such a novice, but I am learning what that means. To serve and love simply because.
Over the past 3 days, we´ve been able to build, fix, and construct so many things within 3 churches here. In one place, we rewired their electricity, rebuilt and redecked their broken stage, added lighting, fixed major audio problems, and built new audio cables. In another, we tripled their lighting capabilities, added some amazing fabrics (soft goods!), fixed major audio, and added 6 ventilation fans for a hot non-air conditioned room. Through this, I haven´t felt taxed, but rejuvenated. To serve is simply a response in my mind. It does not make me feel better than others -- instead I feel RIGHT with others.
Later tonight I will lead the team in a discussion time during which I plan to reveal what God has been doing in my heart over the past 2 months. I also feel that God has given me some very unique words of encouragement and challenge to share with the team. I am excited because I love to encourage others -- especially those whose heart beats like mine does regarding production and programming. I plan to lean heavily on God for this. It will be the first time I´ve stepped out since Laurie died. God is driving. Not me.
My soul is resting and growing. God is nurturing me. I do not feel bitter right now, but purposed and renewed. This is still just the beginning of the process, I know that. I want to grow and be redeveloped. God is indeed putting these shattered pieces back together.
greg
2 comments:
Greg,
I am so proud of you. What a huge difference you make in the world, on me and our family. Know i love you so much. Mom
big prayers for you and your team. i know that you are all being served as much as you feel you're serving them. thanks for being obedient to God, the church, and yourself.
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