Just realized that it's been quite a few days since my last post. Things are going on, that's for sure: Astros in the World Series, White Sox in the World Series, Boncimino family still training for the marathon/half-marathon, business school, Ashley working through hours and hours of AP/honors homework, Brooke going to a cool youth conference in Dallas, Cheryl being featured in a video at church, mixing sound at Lakewood, getting ready for a battle-of-the-Christian-bands event called HopeFest Houston next weekend...
The Houston news media are up in Chicago this weekend for the World Series. The CBS affiliate has been running quite a few "on location" updates from the end of the Adler Planetarium peninsula, with the skyline over the shoulder of the sports reporter's shoulders. Each time it comes up I just shudder a bit. Too close to home. What I'm sure seems like an innocent location for a video shoot has so much more meaning to me. In the background of the shot, you can see the sidewalk down by the water. Lake Michigan sits just behind, usually a dark void because the video is shot at night.
Pause.
I just find that I need to take measured breaths because sometimes the gravity of our present life hits so hard sometimes. I try to imagine Laurie's final thoughts (again), but find no relief. Just more of the frustrating confusion that has plagued us since the beginning.
Even now the process of understanding still continues. Some events this past week have reminded me that I need to open up more -- especially with Cheryl. I declined an opportunity to share some of my journey on a church video. It was to fit with the message this weekend. But I found myself surprised by a number of feelings that converged all at once. Sort of paralyzed, I decided to not do the video. Instead Cheryl did, and she was awesome. I'm so proud of how she shared some of her feelings. She did not sugar coat them, and people at our church did not get a happy-smily perfect ending story. They saw some of the struggle. I'm proud of our church for showing that it's OK to struggle and not have answers.
Well, enough writing for now. Please know that "A Place to Process" is still serving that purpose. I, more than ever, am still in need of a God who is "Bigger Than Me".
greg
1 comment:
Greg,
You are so loved by me. You are unfailingly honest with where you are at and how you are processing. Just wanted to let you know how amazing you are... Now, go Astros. Love, Mom
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