I'd like to try a little experiment.
Right now, before you do anything else, I'd like you to hit the "comments" button below and let me know how my little sister, Laurie Boncimino, has marked you in your life. What did she do or say that has made a permanent change in you or your life? Or, if you only knew Laurie through these blogs or the website or her story, then tell me: How has knowing about my little sister marked you?
For me, the answer is obvious: She showed me, through her actions, how to love others in real and tangible ways. Her method was to SHOW love by DOING. She wasn't just talk.
But it's your turn now. Just write a phrase or a sentence. You can even post anonymously. Right now, before this moment gets away -- take 30 seconds to let me know how you have been marked by my little sister. Hit the "comments" button now...
greg
40 comments:
Laurie was an incredible friend to my daughter. She was an encourager to follow Christ and to serve others with a smile. Whenever I was in her presence she made me smile and laugh. She touched many lives and if I learned one thing from her was to reach out and touch others with a smile amd show them I care. Love, Mrs. H.
What an incredible person Laurie was. I met her through some friends in Florida. She was always smiling and really cared about other people. God bless.
A little over a year ago, I had a close friend commit suicide. Hearing about Laurie's story and reading your blogs have helped me deal with his death. Reading your feelings have made me realize that I am not alone and all the emotions I am going through are completely natural. Thank you for sharing your story and grieving process with us. It helps others more than you know. You are so lucky to have such a close family who are dealing with the process together. It is so important to have a support system like you do. Talking and remembering seems to make it all easier. May God bless you and continue to give you strength. From what I read, Laurie was a wonderful young woman. She was lucky to have a family like you.
I don't think I could write about how Laurie impacted my life in 30 seconds. I met her the summer before my freshman year in hs (99). I came in as a jaded, sarcastic, negative girl who always had her defenses up. Your sister helped me become the loving person I am today. She challenged me to be a better person, she shared struggles with me. She lived life with me. I have letters from her, emails, I remember conversations over coffee throughout high school. Her Mexico sendoff and emails while there.
I remember that throughout hs, sometimes I would send her emails randomly because I hadn't talked to her in awhile and tell her I missed her and wanted to know how she was doing... she'd send me emails telling me that she loved to hear that I missed her because she didn't think people did... I hadn't been in close contact with her the last 10 months or so of her life. I saw her over Christmas for a few minutes at church... I wish I'd sent her one of those random emails the past few months...
Your sister was real. Perhaps that was what I loved most about her. She was real in her frustration. She was real about her struggles. She was real about her passion to follow God. She was real about loving people. I remember her crying for her friend Zach when she'd spent hours trying to show him God... crying for his salvation.
She encouraged me. She challenged me. She wouldn't simply let me bitch about life, but made told me to change it. Gandhi said that we must be the change that we wish to see in the world. Laur lived her life trying to be the change she wanted to see in the world. And I miss her.
Not only was I friends with Laurie, but my junior year of hs, I (unwillingly) became a member of your mom's small group (which I ended up loving and being glad I joined, but I was a stubborn person)and have remained close with her. I am so glad that she has you and that you have her... your family is an amazing family... I thought so before all of this and I still think so today.
Laurie marked my life with her sincerity. Even though we were often at different phases of life, she showed a genuine interest in what I was going through, and put herself right there with me. She had a realness, and didn't mind getting out of her own zone to be with me in mine, really with me, whether it was a fun zone or a really hard one.
I don't think I could sum up all the things Laurie taught me or the ways she impacted me in a few short sentences. For 4 years, Laurie was my mentor, my dearest friend, my rock, and my "sister". She always told me to never let anything rob me of my joy. She has always been there for me. She's still teaching me, too. She's teaching me how to really love and to not judge, because those are things we all have to work on. Your sister was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I'm praying for you and your family!
Laurie was the one person I knew who could tell me I was beautiful, and I believed her.
Laurie and I were in the Intro to Theater summer school class at Stevenson going into our Freshman year and we were friends during the fall of that same year and her smile and her laugh were contagious. Thinking about the glow that came from her no matter where she was or what she was doing, even thinking about it makes me feel the warmth that she brought with her wherever she went and when I read the blogs I realize that she never changed. She was as genuine as a person could possibly be and reading what people write about lets me see that all the good that she did, doesn't only happen in movies and it is different to make a difference in other peoples lives and donating money isn't the only way it is possible, people are capable of making others have a better day even by the smallest act or gesture.
From my womb to my heart to my soul Laurie marked me with her joy...and with all the heartache of only having her for twenty years, I would not trade a minute of what I got to experience with her for the greatest treasure the world has to offer. I am a blessed woman.
Greg-
I don't know if you remember me, but I am one of your mom's small group girls. I babysit Brooke and Ashley one night when you lived in AH. My, have they grown into beautiful women!
Laurie was a beautiful woman, too. She lived by example, not by preaching. She was never hypocritical, just real. It's so easy to look at spiritual role models, like your mom, and say, "Gee, I hope I can be like that when I'm older." Don't get me wrong- I have been so blessed by your mom's example as a woman of God and I will forever be indebted for the spiritual guidance, love, and time she has given me. Laurie, though, reminded me that you don't need to wait until you're "grown up" to get serious about your faith. She was an example of living in the now, not in the future. She didn't put off her faith and God for later, but put him first in the present.
I am grateful I knew Laurie during high school and through your mom. I am so blessed to know your mom as well as I do, and it pains me to see such injustice, sorrow, and pain rip through your family. Know that I am praying for you, and that God is holding you tight in His arms.
Lisa Wisniewski
lmw1437@hotmail.com
i remember laurie from student impact, she touched me through a message she gave one night, i remember going home that night and telling my mom how well spoken she was and about the mission trip she went on. (in fact my mom still remembers me telling her all about it) she is beautiful, and even though i never knew her personally she has touched my life and really made me think about life in general-i want to leave a legacy like laurie's.
Laurie was my best friend from grade school until high school, and they we drifted apart, but never did I forget her. Laurie taught me in her life what a real friend was, because she was my first real "best friend". I don't think i would have made it through those awkward years of school without her by my side. She was always the girl who made everyone laugh and was just a blast to be around.
I only wish we had kept in contact, since we lived less than a mile away. I have learned in her death that friendships are precious, and there is no time like the present to tell someone how much they mean to you. I miss knowing she would be there for me no matter what, no matter how much time had passed.
she let me into the places where her smiles faded and let me be a part of her process of growth and healing...beauty on the inside and out...the desire and determination to go yet deeper still...it never ceased to amaze me...her ability to go where the spirit called...wow
Laurie made me laugh, she made me feel safe, she was an example of the Christ I wanted to be.
Laurie was one of my absoulte closest friends in junior high and the beginning of high school. We went through some amazingly awkward times in 8th grade... pressing rebellion and learning what it was to have true friends. I had a lot of "firsts" with Laurie and I will forever regret losing touch. She was an amazing friend who stayed up with me until 2 a.m. to see the new Everclear music video on MTV, who sang on stage with me at an Everclear concert, who helped me through some incredibly difficult times, who went through field hockey tryouts with me, who had chocolate milk drinking contests before our summer school theatre class and who always was there smiling to make everything that much better. I remember drawing on her bed and taping countless pictures of snowboarders on her bedroom walls.
I miss her so much. I learned so much from her.
Cristina
Greg--
Reading about Laurie has marked me with her generosity of spirit. In every memory and every picture it's clear that she gave deeply of herself--both in how she shaped her life and in how she lived it every day.
Christine
I didn't know Laurie. I heard about her going missing on tv...and followed the story. The first time I saw her picture, her smile stuck with me. I hoped she would be alright. When I heard that she had committed suicide, I broke down in tears. I have suffered from depression for years now...I don't have a loving and supportive family. I don't devote my time to others. I don't go to church. I'm agnostic. When I tried to commit suicide, I failed. Next to Laurie I have nothing to offer, so if there is a God, why her and not me. So many people loved her, it makes me so sad to know she is missed by so many.
I'm so sorry about your loss.
Greg
I could go on with countless ways that she marked my life but I'll keep it brief. Laurie inspired me by the way she talked to complete strangers. She didn't just talk to them nicely, she treated them like they really mattered. If I can do that half as much as she did I'll be happy...
Though I only knew Laurie in passing, she always remembered who I was or what we did together. She had the kind of faith that I longed for. She lived for God every single day and she showed it to everyone she knew. She showed joy to everyone around her, every Laurie story is full of joy. She is still someone I strive to be, I want to live for Him and fully rely on Him like she did. YOur family gives me hope, your mom is one of the strongest women I know. I continue to pray for your family and hope that Laurie's legacy does not fade, I know that in my heart it will not.
Just her smile brighten my day.
she was joyful, alive, and bright. she knew God's love and lived it.
Laurie was simply put just an amazing girl--one who I never forgot as years went by but slowly lost contact with. I will always remember her amazing smile and how funny she was at the times when it was most needed. It has been years since I spoke with Laurie, but I have heard she had amazing friendships and relationships with people she loved. It reminds me how important people can be. Her story makes me pick up the phone and call a friend--we all really need GREAT people in our lives
Laurie showed me that no matter what you're doing, how you're feeling, what the weather's like, how busy you are....you make time for people and you love them. You look into their eyes and you try to find the words they need to hear. Or you just listen.
Laurie was my favorite Starbuck’s barista. Someone mentioned her addictive personality – that so fits her. We spoke of God, school and she shared bits of her life with me. I will not forget the day she handed me my drink and said something like – taste it – it’s great – I made it for you with love. I only would wish that I some how I could have sensed her own needs – I would have so gladly have been there for her. I am so sorry for you pain – God & time will heal – but from my experience that is very difficult to accept when tragedy and loss is new. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I didn't know Laurie personally....only thru a new friend of mine named Drew Brown (an incredible kid). It was Drew who alerted me when Laurie was missing, and kept me posted on what was going on while I prayed.
Your little sister marked me big time through your blog, Drew's, your mother's, and your sister Katie's blogs. You asked HOW has she marked me....and I will tell you that she has marked me to LOVE unconditionally, period.
I think of you and your family (and Drew) constantly, praying for comfort as you process your way through this heart-wrenching ordeal. As a mother of two grown children (one who is one month older to the day than Laurie...my son will be 21 on May 7th), Laurie's death tore my heart strings apart. It wasn't my child who died, but it is every mother's nightmare. Your mother's blogging has strengthened MY faith in our Lord. Your mom is one awesome lady....and you are an awesome son, father, and brother.
Keep on keeping on...you're doing great. God Bless your heart.
Felicia in Illinois
(my friends call me Fe) :)
Laurie was amazing. I saw her around at WCCC and of course Starbucks. She is the one who told me a dash of cinammon on my soy chai would make it perfect. She was right. It was perfect. Laurie always took a few extra minutes to ask me how Harper was going, or how the hospital was. And she did it with a smile. Im trying.
I really didnt know you could miss someone you hardly knew. I think about her often and check her website once in awhile. Thanks so much to you and ur fam for sharing your personal thoughts. They help.
Laurie was such a special person. I feel lucky enough to have even met her. Yet still, hardly knowing her, I've seen that she put everyone before herself. She was so selfless and had so much passion for everything. Everyday I try to live more like her. And just love everything.
I've known a handful of young people who have gone to Heaven. Ironically, they have all had intense personal relationships with our Lord. Sometimes God wants us more in Heaven then on Earth. Laurie being one of them.
The saying is true -- "only the good die young."
much <3 to everyone touched by Laurie.
Joshua 22:5
thats how Laurie lived... im trying
jenn
Laurie was wonderful, she showed love to all, she helped me though difficult situations in my life. She was always there for an amazing conversation, a smile, and a great hug. She was an incredible person who is difficult to put into words. She was simply a magnificent friend to me. I could not have asked God for more in the friendship I found in Laurie.
I knew Laurie through church and she was an amazing person. I knew her more through friends but whenever I saw her around she was always smiling and bubbly. Overhearing conversations and hearing her speak, her words were those of Gods'. I know so many people that have been impacted by her life and she will never been forgotten.
I think I only met Laurie once at WCCC. Everything I have read on this blog, the pictures I have seen, the descriptions of her life have actually set a "benchmark" on how a Christian should truly live for me.
-Steve S
I am 18 years old, and my little sister is 7 years younger than me. I take our relationship for granted, because there barely is the kind of sisterly connection because of our age difference. I've taken Laurie's story and considered making my life better by becoming better "friends" with my sister, and becoming more active with my own church.
How is it possible to grieve for someone you never even knew? But I do grieve for Laurie. I feel for you Greg and all of your family. I feel for all of her dear friends that miss her so. Through all of these blogs you all have shared a "piece" of who Laurie was so that those who didn't even know her, now truly do "know" her and her awesome spirit and how loving and caring she was and how she reached out to strangers to let them know they were special. And the total irony of it is that she must have left this earthly world not knowing how much she impacted everyone and how much she was admired and treasured and how much she would be missed. If I have learned anything from Laurie it is that we all (meaning me included)need to look at each person we encounter from our day to day activities and truly look at them and honor them as a person that God has created and that they have value and worth in this sometimes harsh and cruel world that we live in.
Is it possible that Laurie's goodness was in such high concentration over her 20 years that her work here on Earth might have been complete?
I bet God thinks so.
The way Laurie made me feel when I was with her, that I was important and mattered to her and God. I could relate to her so well about so many different things and I know God put her in my life at a specific time for that reason.
I only know of Laurie from seeing her on the news. When I first saw her picture something struck me as to how familiar she looked, even though I don't think I ever met her. I was drawn in. When I heard she took her life I was sad. But then I realized it was God who took her life. He needs her help now. I know that there is one more angel up there looking over us.
laurie made me smile and she made me laugh. she made me love God more. laurie boncimino what a crazy fun girl... made my summer the highlight that it was.
I too just stumbled upon your blog through a link of a friend of hers to the main website sharing her story. Through reading about Laurie and how her death has had such a taxing effect on your family, it has made me realize how fortunate we are as believers to have hope. I'm only 19, close to Laurie's age-the outpouring of support to your family is evident. This blog and the others show me how Satan has such power to mask our eyes and ears to the love of the people closest to us and how satan's ultimate goal is to show us that we are alone. Greg, as someone thousands of miles away, I want you to know that I am praying for you and for your family. As hard as the whole situation is, what a blessing that Laurie is with our Creator. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this pain. -Anna, Purdue Student
I knew Laurie in high school and continually regret not keeping up with her after Student Impact. I will always remember her joy and I will forever be impacted by her sense of purpose. Whenever we talked I could always sense her strong desire to serve God in everything she did. I have never known anyone to be as on fire for Christ as your sister.
Laurie was one of the most pivitol people in my walk with God in high school. Laurie and I became really good friends within the first year that her dad passed away, and when we first met she was still really struggling with that. But, I think Laurie and I grew in our faith together. We encouraged one another, we held eachother accountable, we had hours upon hours of fun while learning more about God.
I have so many memories of Laurie, but I still think my favorite is simple. It was just driving around town in my Jeep with the top down, singing the Indigo Girls together, and looking for other Jeeps to wave to.
What I learned from Laurie in those couple years that we were closest, was how to better live life as a "shining light." We always used to talk about being a light for Jesus, and she really did it! She was the epitome of the girl with the light so bright that everyone wondered what she had. I am still trying to live life more like Laurie did. To make everyone feel so special, to have about 20 people call her a "best friend" because she had REAL and lasting relationships with them, to radiate God's love in a way I have never witnessed before. What an amazing woman!
your little sister marked me with her love for worship. she was a living and breathing romans 12:1,2. beyond her love for worshipping God with song, she lived it in her daily actions.
i haven't seen it talked about much, but laurie was always good for a great afternoon of ultimate. (frisbee for the novices). you could definitely count her as a solid contributor that any team was lucky to have.
ntybdI have been reading about Laurie and am so touched by her life. God Bless her
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