I just returned from riding in my third MS150 bike tour this past weekend. It's a great event -- sponsored by the national MS Society, the 182 mile ride raises over $10 million for MS research. This year 13,000 cyclists rode from Houston to Austin in the biggest event of its kind.
As always, I had a blast riding my bicycle through the hills and fields of Texas. I'd love to share my online photo album with anyone who sends me his/her email address. (Sorry, I'm not sure how to do this any other way. )
However, the fun was mixed with sadness. When I reached the beautiful, hilly State Park portion of the ride, I instantly recalled that since the last time I did this, three of my family members had passed away (both maternal grandparents, and Laur). I gulped down the emotion, took a deep breath and kept riding. In dedication to Grandpa, I tore up one of those steep hills just like he might have (except I didn't break my crank arm, as he always claimed to have done!!)
The overnight in the La Grange campground was another tough one. I couldn't sleep. I came across a brand new emotion -- fear. I realized how scared I am that I might lose another family member, even by the same method as Laurie's. Who would be the next to believe an awful lie promising relief from pain? Would it be one of my own daughters? my wife? a sister? I think it was just sheer exhaustion from riding 102 miles that finally brought me to sleep.
I love my family more than ever. I need to learn to express that even better -- more clearly -- in their own language. I certainly plan to do just that.
greg
P.S. Seriously, please post a comment with your email address, or send an email to my secondary email account at gboncimino@yahoo.com, if you'd like a link to my photo album. greg
1 comment:
Greg,
I've always suspected there was an introspective writer in you! I think you'll be ready to write a book to help others before too long. Maybe not just about surviving the suicide of a loved one but maybe a cry to men everywhere who do what we all do: get wrapped up in life and forget to verbalize or show love to our families...just a thought...I'm learning from you.
Love you, Tami
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